”I took a moment to look over my opponent before stepping in the ring. His shield would provide more coverage than mine would, but wasn’t as durable. The man was also quite a bit smaller than me which would give me a nice advantage. I came up with a plan for the first round and stepped inside the ring. When I entered the ring, my opponent got into position. His shield was covering all of his body except for his head which was protected by a helmet. His spear was protruding out in front of him ready for an attack.I positioned myself in my own defensive stance and waited for the horn to sound. As soon as it did, I dropped my spear and used both hands to hold my shield out in front of me and sprinted as fast as I could at my opponent. He wasn’t expecting this at all and there was nothing he could do about it. His spear glanced off my shield and our shields connected. I pushed with all my strength and knocked him out of the ring, winning the first round. The horn sounded and we were sent. ”And what’s the use of that vintage hot rod?Dick got a horrified look on his face.She noticed and said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”He replied, “You were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”“Ex-wife!?” she shouted, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”Dick replied, “I wasn’t...”✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to mixerman478 What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?A tearjerker.✧ ✧ ✧How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?He forgot to wrap his Whopper.✧ ✧ ✧I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay.She said she didn’t have time.✧ ✧ ✧Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?They couldn’t close his casket.✧ ✧ ✧Say what you want about pedophiles... But at least they drive slow through the school zones. ✧ ✧ ✧What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?Finding out it was traced.✧ ✧ ✧What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged.✧ ✧ ✧What’s the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?A hockey.
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